Top 10 List Why Xuan Hong Should Not Leave Methodist College.
10. RAPE and NEAR RAPE cases associated with that University X you’re going to. Who knows, young little innocently naive cute Xuan Hong would some day become prey to some vicious sex-addicted BRUTE, without Rachel’s protection and peper spray, then lose your um…..V. NOOOOOOOOOOoOOOOOOooo……
9. Maths lecturer would miss you so so much that he would mourn everyday, stop eating, stop sleeping, shed more hair (i don’t think he has enough hair to shed anyway), and stop teaching us maths, then the whole Beta class would FAIL our maths paper. Basically, he’d just stop living and die, and we’ll all end up getting flogged by our parents for failing maths. THANKS TO YOU.
8. No one would beat Justin in ping pong anymore. Nor in maths. No one could beat him except you. You’re the ONLY ONE!! You’re THE MAN!!! (wait, you’re a girl.)
7. I have one person less to slap and scratch and torment when I’m laughing, bored, angry or in pain. Think how pitiful Alex, Shuxin and Vivian would be if you leave them to divide your share of duty.
6. Alex would for sure turn broody and mourn for at least 1 month over you leaving, which is soooo not good for me, coz I’ll then turn broody and probably we’ll end up fighting non stop, and Vivian would become the FLAT ham-meat (hint hint). Poor little girl being squashed between us both, it’s BAD for her growth, you know.
5. We’ll miss your annoyingly-girlish squeeEeEe-al, even though they give me goosebumps.
4. Datynne N would have one person less to do her beloved testimonial writing (though come to think of it, it IS a good thing for us, right? She’d save ink, have more energy to concentrate on our testimonials.)
3. You’d miss out on all the "Mr. L and Vivian L’amour" love drama episode reports that we’re all so used to follow up everyday in classes.
2. That University X that you’re going to has no one by the name Rachel Nge Sing Wei in it.
1. I’ll FREAKING MISS YOU EVERYDAY, LIKE CRAZY!!!!!
Top 10 List Why Jessie Lim Should Not Leave Kuala Lumpur.
10. Perlis is like, FULL of icky muddy paddy fields. Come on, you’re a KL GIRL. Someone who doesn’t even know what CARROT is in Malay. A girl who is willing to sit beside a TONG SAMPAH during marathon run with us 3 soh poh-s fanning you. P for Perlis = P for Paddy fields. (that’s what the form 3 geography book says.)
9. Perlis > Paddy fields > Water > Mosquito Larvaes > Dengue. If you get dengue, you’d be like one dead vegetable. Then your parents and I would need to waste $$ to buy last-minute flight tickets to see you.
8. HELP would have one genius short. Your name would not be on the HELP’s honorary board (do you guys have those?) Instead, your name would be on the honorary board of some Perlis school where not one of your friends, 12 future children, 66 grandkids and 495 great-grandkids would ever have the chance to see.
7. Your sister would take over your room, rip all your Lee Hom posters, pee and poop on your bed without you knowing it, and destroy ALL THE PRESENTS I GAVE YOU???!?! OH MY GAWD YOU HAVE TO PACK AND BRING EVERY SINGLE PRESENT I’VE EVER GIVEN YOU THERE WITH YOU!! YOU READ ME???
6. My psychie senses tell me that Wang Lee Hom would be coming soon for the FINAL time to KUALA LUMPUR (only place). And when he comes, he’ll go, "Ahem…yoyoyo da jia hao wazup ya’ll(i think i heard him once talking like that on TV..Oh I dunno, anyway..)I would like to meet this gorgeous cute fan of mine whom I met last visit here…I think her name’s Jessica, or Jaycee…Anyone knows her? Please ask her to contact me ASAP before I leave for Hong Kong. I’d like to offer her a job in my promo tour crew as my PM.." It would be like, your DREAM COME TRUE! And where would you be? Perlis. How ass-kickin it would be if you would be stuck in Perlis STAHDYING when LEE HOM’S here. Not a risk you’d like to take, huh?
5. You’re soooo gonna miss this year’s carnival, especially the fried ice cream. How on earth are you gonna find a freaking FRIED ICE CREAM in the middle of a freakin PERLIS??
4. I am turning 18 in 2 months time. For the FIRST time in 5 YEARS, I’m not gonna be able to celebrate my birthday with my bestbutt???? OUTRAGEOUSLY UNHEARD OF!!!! ME, Rachel Nge aka your best friend?? Turning 18 is like, pretty much important as hearing your son’s first "Momma" word. And you’re gonna miss it. Ugh.
3. I am having a headache now. It might develop into a migrain. In 3 weeks time, I would be down with fever and blood-vomitting, and sleep-walking. In 3 months time, I might be comatose. In less than 6 months, I might be D.E.A.D. And you’ll only get to know about it when you recieve a bloody-red invitation to my F U N E R A L.
2. You ======== 1000000 KM ========= ME.
1. I AM SO GONNA FREAKING HATE MISSING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s awful you know, having your 5 years buddy THREE STATES apart from you, and having your close pal suddenly getting up in the middle of lunch break and saying "HEY, I’M LEAVING FOR UNIVERSITY X!! GOODBYE!!STAY HAPPY 4EVER!!(happy forever, my foot).
Bottomline is : I’M SO GONNA MISS YOU BOTH NINCOMPOOPS!!!!!
PS :It’s not too late changing your mind de….
anyway, do take care yeah? Stay alive. I love u!!